I don't know what it is this year...but I am just not in the Christmas spirit. And, it seems, that no matter how hard I try I just can't find it in myself. I've tried shopping, decorating, giving, serving, and am just not having any luck. In fact, yesterday I was about ready to cancel Christmas. Our family doesn't even have our decorations up yet and if it wasn't for everybody coming at the end of the month for me we probably wouldn't even put them up. (at least that would be my opinion.) I also went shopping and finally told my siblings that we either needed to draw names or I was canceling Christmas because I'm not in the mood to pick out a present for all of them. I guess I've been pretty ornery lately because I wasn't in the mood for Halloween, or Thanksgiving, and now Christmas. I really am the Grinch this year. I just don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm tired of being "alone" for the holidays and having nobody special invite me to ride the carriage in Salt Lake, or see the lights...or dress up to match me or invite me to meet there family at Thanksgiving. Maybe it's because I don't feel like we need holidays to remind us of the things we should be doing everyday. Maybe it's because I want to know I have a special present waiting under the tree for me...only to find that it's not there, not that I even know what I would want it to be. Perhaps, it's because, no matter how much I do for other people I feel like there is more to be done, or that those asking for help appear to be doing nothing for themselves.
Regardless of the reason, I have yet to find the Holiday spirit since last Christmas. All the holidays between then and now have been pretty bland for me. I try to get way into them, and that doesn't help. I try to step away from them, and that doesn't help. What's a girl to do!!!?? I am thankful for all my blessings and for the Saviors birth, death, and resurrection. But I haven't caught the holiday bug...perhaps it was that flu shot I got. Nobody said that would be one of it's side effects.
4 comments:
I'm with you Abs I can't get into the Christmas Spirit either. Maybe you can invent a shot that I can get ... wait I HATE shots ... a pill that I can take so that I will be excited about Christmas! I agree that I don't need a certain time of the year to remind of the Savior or to nice to people I need it all year round!
You just need to concentrate on getting ready for your mission ... that is pressure enough! Luv ya
Oops! Like Dave would ever read anything but sports talk ... that was me!
I hope that your birthday is wonderful, Abi!
And I already told you I had posted here a few nights ago but it didn't stick. I was glad to hear what you had to say at the RS activity. When your mom told me you had been teaching at the seminary I knew that would help with your "lack of spirit."
The adversary will do whatever he can to keep us from reaching those significant, faith-promoting, testimony-building milestones, such as baptism, receiving the priesthood, going to the temple, etc. He'll do what he can to wreck this Christmas with your family and discourage you from being an effective missionary. I think one thing that dampens a missionary's first few months of service is regret for things they didn't do or did do and wished they could fix back at home. It happens as they sit down with others and try to teach them about repentance, forgiveness, family, etc.
But I know the adversary cannot win with Abi!
Have a wonderful day! I love you!
Abi,
It's nice that you finally clued me in on your blog--I've liked catching up on your posts.
I feel your pain on Christmas. This year I am feeling especially Grinch-esq and, to be honest, just downright lonely. Yes, the cuddling and carriage rides would be nice but all I really want is someone to scrape my car windows for me in the morning and run to the store in the snow when I run out of milk.
The best way to get rid of the Christmas blues is to consume as many saccharine, corny Christmas movies as you can. I recommend Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel.
Jessica
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